prayers needed

dodge82273 said:

my brother liked ice pops .....

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so yesterday l learned that the "speech ladies" have been try'in to teach suzy to swallow , they were using small ice cubes and she didn't do so good at first , but after a few days this past week she did better , so l say to the speech lady what about ice pops/popsicles and she agrees because of the flavor suzy might do better , so l,m go'in to get flavored ice pops/popsicles today [ the singles and not the double wides ]

the thing that kills me with this N/H is they don't tell you anything , l gotta ask to find stuff out

also because suzy is getting stronger they either wanna restrain her or DRUG her , because she is pulling at her Trach tubes , more out of boredom than try'in to kill herself , so we got her a bunch of toys to play with , but she gets bored with them and go's back to flinging the Trach tube around , and l said NO to the drugs because that would put her "backwards" as far as getting better , if she is sedated she can't or won't wanna do anything and get weaker instead of better , right now they put MITS on her [ look like boxing gloves with no thumb ] also they put PADS on the bed side bars as she is beating her arms/hands on them and making bruises [ which to me means she is getting stronger ] she is NOT hurting N/H staff just herself , so l asked if they had "hand cuff" type restraints like they have at the Hospital , they told me NO as they [ a federally funded nursing home ] can NOT restrain a patient [ they can ONLY use drugs or the Mits ] l ask why the hospital could use them and they said different guide lines [ they cant put a seat belt on a wheel chair even if the patient keeps falling out of it ] so l said the bed side rails are a restraint because they keep a patient from getting out of bed [ it's for their own safety they said ] so l say would not the "hand cuffs" be for suzies wellbeing and safety ] l got the deer in the headlights look as brain cells were exploding

so after my two week vacation from here [ self imposed isolation ] l withdrew from society as l needed a break , in the last two weeks l sobered up and cut my drinking down by 2/3'rds and concentrated on suzy , the house and all the vehicle problems , the house was a shambles [ mud season] and me just throwing things everywhere , garbage over flowing , both sinks over flowing with dishes , aint done laundry in months and strewn all over , Cats shitting on the floor because the litter boxes were full , just a complete mess , . the Van was not in good shape after the tire blow out and l hadta fix it as the jeep was broke down , it blew a drag link end and l lost steering and almost got killed [ l popped it back together and used zip ties to get home ] l just fixed it and put a new one in yesterday

Suzy , we/she had a set back as she failed her "swallow" test , to be fair the speech lady only worked with her for two weeks prior to the test , so now we have another 30 days till the next one

the BIG thing now with suzy is the feed bag [ again ] she is losing weight faster than they can pump it into her [ so they turn it up without notifying me ] and l,ve been turn it off when l show up because suzy was complaining her stomach hurt and just then [ this morning] the nurse walks in and reads me the "riot act" about touching the feed machine as l,m NOT a registered nurse or Doc , just then the Head Admin was walking by and heard [ just had a meeting 3 days ago about this ] and l say l thought that YOU where gonna come up with some kind of plan to feed her and not kill her [ my idea was ON for 3 hours - OFF for 2 hours ] and l said what happened to that , the nurse said l don't know anything about that , the Admin go's we are still working on it , l said what in the mean time your gonna OVER feed her and kill her again , l told him and the nurse flat out if l show up and suzy is in distress l,m turning the machine off no matter what [ they didn't say a word ] we are having another meeting later today [ l,ll up date you all later ]