[Twister]

LOL! I almost think this should go in the Joke board. I mean, would people actually believe this crap?

The following is an email I received the other day:

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

Dear Sir,

I am MR. James GUEI, the son of late GENERAL ROBERT GUEI Ex-Military Head of State of Ivory Coast, who was murdered along with the interior minister on the 19th of September 2002.

I contacted you because of my need to deal with persons whom my family and I have had no previous personal relationships. Since the murder of my father, I have been subjected to all sorts of harassments and intimidation with lots of negative reports emananting from the Government and the Press about my family, the present Government of LAURENT GBAGBO has also ensured that out bank accounts
are frozen and all assets seized.

It is in view of this that I seek your co-operation and assistance in the transfer of this sum of Twenty Seven Million United States Dollars only (US$27,000,000.00) being the very last of my family fund in my possession and control. After the murder of my father, the present Government seized all our properties and froze all our accounts both local and international.

My only hope now is this cash my father carefully packed and
deposited as Artifacts with a Securty/Finance Company outside Ivory Coast, this sum of US$27M can easily be withdrawn or paid to a recommended beneficiary. The security/Finance Company based on my instructions will release the fund to you. You are to be presented as my business partner who will be fronting for me in subsequent ventures and in truth you will be fronting for me in the areas of
business you deem profitable.

To show my preparedness and appreciation to conduct this business with you, I shall give you and your family US$5.4M of the funds and 20% commission on all proceeds realized from the investment of this fund. Also, US$1.35M is to be set aside for lany eventual cost that may occur in the process of this transaction.

Please, I need your full support and co-operation for the success of this venture. I plead with you to treat as urgent and confidential.

This is a delicate issue, which demands a great decree of secrecy, have my current political status in mind.

Also, endeavor to contat me through the email [email protected] or [email protected]
I await your immediate response.

Sincerely,
MR.James GUEI .

Man, this is better than winning the lottery! RETARD!!!!!

 

[BurnOut]

Man, I got one of these from the daughter of an impeached president of Phillipine, no joke! Heh heh

 

[IntenseImages]

i cant believe that you guys wouldnt help me ....... er i mean him out with this.


how else am i.......ummmmm, i mean, is he supposed to pay for all of his dodge parts.


eric

 

[Guest]

Any body who would fall for a scam of this type deserves to get fleeced.

Chris

 

[Sam Simpson]

I receive variations of these on a daily basis, with good days getting about 10.

 

[Wile E Coyote]

Geez, I never get anything as blatant as that, just daily offerings for "GET RIPPED" or "GET 4 extra INCHES now". I mean come on, as silly as we all think this stuff is, obviously, there's a profit to be had from somewhere.
So which of you guys are the ones ordering all that penis lengthening crap
Mike

 

[Guest]

Geez, I never get anything as blatant as that, just daily offerings for "GET RIPPED" or "GET 4 extra INCHES now". I mean come on, as silly as we all think this stuff is, obviously, there's a profit to be had from somewhere.
So which of you guys are the ones ordering all that penis lengthening crap
Mike

I have no need for all that, my wife says its big enough already. LOL

Chris

 

[GunPilot]

Variations:

FROM SULAIMAN DANJUMA
DAKAR,SENEGAL.


I GOT YOUR ADDRESS WHILE SEARCHING FOR INVESTMENT ASSISTANCE ON THE NET, THEN I DECIDED TO FORWARD THIS BUSINESS PROPOSAL TO YOU WITH HOPE THAT IT WILL BE BENEFICIAL TO ALL CONCERN.
LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU, I'M THE ONLY SON
OF COL HASSAN DANJUMA ONE OF THE SENIOR OFFICIALS
OF REVOLUTIONARY UNITED FRONT OF SIERRA LEONE
(R.U.F)WHO DIED ON 18/06/2000 WITH SOME OF HIS COLLEAGUES DURING A CROSS FIRE BATTLE BETWEEN THE (R.U.F) AND THE PEACE KEEPING FORCES IN SIERRA LEONE.

IN BRIEF, I HAVE THE SUM OF TEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND US DOLLARS($10.500 MILLION U.S.DOLLARS)
WHICH I WANT TO INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY.
THESE MONEY WAS DEPOSITED BY MY LATE FATHER IN A
HIGH SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN DAKAR SENEGAL,OF WHICH I
WAS MADE THE SOLE BENEFICIARY AND NEXT OF KIN AS THE
ONLY SON OF MY PARENT, BECAUSE OF THE PRESENT SITUATION IN MY COUNTRY SIERRALEONE,MY AGED MOTHER ADVISED ME TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY FOR SECURITY REASONS,AND ALSO TO LOOK FOR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE MONEY OUT OF DAKAR SENEGAL.SIR, I HIGHLY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE BOTH IN TRANSFERRING THE MONEY TO YOUR COUNTRY AND ALSO INVESTING IT AS I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOU HOPING YOU WILL NEVER BETRAY ME AT LAST.
I, AND MY AGED MOTHER HAS PROPOSED (30%) PERCENT OF
THE TOTAL SUM OF THE MONEY FOR YOU, SO AS FOR YOU TO
GIVE US ALL NECESSARY ASSISTANCE AND PROTECTIONS WE
MAY NEED IN YOUR COUNTRY.
PLEASE TREAT AS HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL BECAUSE OUR
FUTURE DEPENDS ON THIS MONEY ,ALL THE VITAL DOCUMENTS
COVERING THE DEPOSIT IN THE SECURITY COMPANY ARE
WITH ME HERE IN DAKAR SENEGAL AND WE WILL FAX TO YOU ON DEMAND.
As A TRUSTED AND HONEST MAN I WOULD LIKE YOU
TO SECURE MY MONEY IN YOUR CARE AS I HAVE DECIDED TO
ORDER A COMMAND TO THE SECURITY COMPANY TO TRANSFER
THEM TO YOU DEPENDING ON YOUR URGENT REPLY TO MY
REQUEST.NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION DEMANDS THE
HIGHEST TRUST AND CONFIDENCE BETWEEN US.
MOREOVER,IT IS RISK FREE IN THE SENCE THAT I HAVE TAKEN PROPER CARE OF ALL FORMALITIES REGARDING THIS TRANSACTION.

THANKS.


YOUR'S SINCERELY,
SULAIMAN DANJUMA.



FROM : DR IDOWU MARTINS
REPUBLIC OF CONGO
EMAIL:[email protected]

SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE.
Please Permit me to make your acquaintance in so
informal a manner. This is necessitated by my urgent
need to reach a dependable and trust wordy foreign
partner. This request may seem strange and
unsolicited but I will crave your indulgence and pray
that you view it seriously. My name is MR IDOWU MARTINSof the Democratic
Republic of Congo and One of the
close aides to the former President of the Democratic
Republic of Congo LAURENT KABILA of blessed
memory, may his soul rest in peace.
Due to the military campaign of LAURENT KABILA to
force out the rebels in my country, I and some of my
colleagues were instructed by Late President Kabila
to go abroad to purchase arms and ammunition worth of
Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars only (US$20,500,000.00) to fight the rebel
group. But when President Kabila was killed in a
bloody shoot-out by one of his aide a day before we
were schedule to travel out of Congo, We immediately
decided to divert the fund into a private security
company here in Congo for safe keeping. The security
of the said amount is presently being threatened here
following the arrest and seizure of properties of Col.
Rasheidi Karesava (One of the aides to Laurent Kabila)
a tribesman, and some other Military Personnel from
our same tribe, by the new President of the Democratic
Republic of Congo, the son of late President Laurent
Kabila, Joseph Kabila.
In view of this, we need a reliable and trustworthy
foreign partner who can assist us to move this money
out of my country as the beneficiary.
WE have sufficient ''CONTACTS'' to move the fund under
Diplomatic Cover to a security company in the europe
in your name. This is to ensure that the Diplomatic
Baggage is marked ''CONFIDENTIAL'' and it will not
pass through normal custom/airport screening and
clearance.
Our inability to move this money out of Congo all
This while lies on our lack of trust on our supposed
good friends (western countries) who suddenly became
hostile to those of us who worked with the late
President Kabila, immediately after his son took
office. Though we have neither seen nor met each
other, the information We gathered from an associate
who has worked in your country has encouraged and
convinced us that with your sincere assistance, this
transaction will be properly handled with modesty
and honesty to a huge success within two weeks. The
said money is a state fund and therefore requires a
total confidentiality.
Thus, if you are willing to assist us move this fund
out of Congo, you can contact me through my email
address above with your telephone, fax number and
personal information to enable us discuss the
modalities and what will be your share
(percentage) for assisting us.
I must use this opportunity and medium to implore You
to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this Matter
extraordinarily confidential, Whatever your Decision,
while I await your prompt response. Thank you and
GodBless.

Best Regards
IDOWU MARTINS



FROM :HENSHAW ADIO
REPUBLIC OF CONGO
EMAIL:[email protected]

SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE.
Please Permit me to make your acquaintance in so
informal a manner. This is necessitated by my urgent
need to reach a dependable and trust wordy foreign
partner. This request may seem strange and
unsolicited but I will crave your indulgence and pray
that you view it seriously. My name is MR HENSHAW ADIO of the Democratic
Republic of Congo and One of the
close aides to the former President of the Democratic
Republic of Congo LAURENT KABILA of blessed
memory, may his soul rest in peace.
Due to the military campaign of LAURENT KABILA to
force out the rebels in my country, I and some of my
colleagues were instructed by Late President Kabila
to go abroad to purchase arms and ammunition worth of
Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States
Dollars only (US$20,500,000.00) to fight the rebel
group. But when President Kabila was killed in a
bloody shoot-out by one of his aide a day before we
were schedule to travel out of Congo, We immediately
decided to divert the fund into a private security
company here in Congo for safe keeping. The security
of the said amount is presently being threatened here
following the arrest and seizure of properties of Col.
Rasheidi Karesava (One of the aides to Laurent Kabila)
a tribesman, and some other Military Personnel from
our same tribe, by the new President of the Democratic
Republic of Congo, the son of late President Laurent
Kabila, Joseph Kabila.
In view of this, we need a reliable and trustworthy
foreign partner who can assist us to move this money
out of my country as the beneficiary.
WE have sufficient ''CONTACTS'' to move the fund under
Diplomatic Cover to a security company in the europe
in your name. This is to ensure that the Diplomatic
Baggage is marked ''CONFIDENTIAL'' and it will not
pass through normal custom/airport screening and
clearance.
Our inability to move this money out of Congo all
This while lies on our lack of trust on our supposed
good friends (western countries) who suddenly became
hostile to those of us who worked with the late
President Kabila, immediately after his son took
office. Though we have neither seen nor met each
other, the information We gathered from an associate
who has worked in your country has encouraged and
convinced us that with your sincere assistance, this
transaction will be properly handled with modesty
and honesty to a huge success within two weeks. The
said money is a state fund and therefore requires a
total confidentiality.
Thus, if you are willing to assist us move this fund
out of Congo, you can contact me through my email
address above with your telephone, fax number and
personal information to enable us discuss the
modalities and what will be your share
(percentage) for assisting us.
I must use this opportunity and medium to implore You
to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this Matter
extraordinarily confidential, Whatever your Decision,
while I await your prompt response. Thank you and
GodBless.

Best Regards
HENSHAW ADIO

 

[GunPilot]

Here's yet another, but with a bit more plaintive tone (he's now a refugee, and racially persecuted) but the pitch is the same:



Mustafa Kamara,
United Nations
Refugee- Asylum camp.
Geveva-Switzerland.
Email:[email protected]

Dear Sir,

You are definitely not the first person that I am sending this email, I have been on
this search for the past Two weeks and all the response that I have received was
just abuses and bad comments, I do not know why. But please just disregard this
email if it is embarassing to you. But I pray you listen to your conscience and help
the need.


I am Mustafa Kamara, the only surviving son of late former director of finance,
Chief John Kamara, Angola Diamond and Mining Corporation. I must confess my
agitation is real, irrespective of the various ills on the Internet and my word is my
bond,in this proposal. As a matter of fact, my late father chief John Kamara gave
me the photocopies of the certificate of deposit issued to him by the bank on the
date of deposit.

Due to the persistant exploitation of diamonds by top government officials to some
key foriegners in the corporation and the unending war, my late father starched
some funds meant for purchase of arms and ammunition, for the country during
the peak of this disastrous civil war. He deposited these funds in a bank in the
Channel Islands at least for the future of his family instead of in the promotion of
war.

Now the war in my country is attracting resolution with the help of OAU member
countries, but the present government has revoked the passport of all officers
who served under the former regime of late Col. Savimbi and now ask countries to
expel such person(s) at the same time freeze their account and confiscate their
asset. It is on this note that I am contacting you.

Due to our present situation since I am here in Switzerland with my little sister as
refugees, I cannot handle certain transactions. Moreover, probably due to some
racial differences here that I have noticed, it is absolutely difficult to have access
to these funds, though, I have opened communication with his account officer in
the bank regarding the funds US$40m (Fourty Million united States Dollars Only).

For the fact that I am really working with time at the moment, I am in desperate
need of someone honest and competent to assist me shift these funds to where I
can have adequate access to it for investment in a country , were there is
stability in government, political and economic welfare. And please provide me with
your private telephone and fax numbers through which there can be
communication in a more secured avenue and kindly respond to me through my
private email;[email protected]

Try and negotiate for me some profitable but risk free blue chip investment
opportunities which I can invest with this money when it is transferred to your
account. Personally I am interested in estate management and hotel business,
please advise me.

Email me back immediately you receive this message for more explanation. And
promise me and my younger sister to be a guardian to us considering our situation
and that you will not betray us for I need this to be absolutely quiet.

Best Regards,

Mustafa.

N/B: My late Father used me as the only Son of the beneficiary/next of kin on the
day of deposited and also told me I will be needing a foreigner's assistance with
Legitimate bank account who will stand as co-beneficiary and partner abroad.

 

[Sam Simpson]

I would say I have at least 100 different versions. These are actually from the actual people trying to scam you, so what I do is I take their email address and sign it up to as much gay porn mailinglists as I can.

 

[phoenix827]

hey sam, where do you find these lists? I got a couple people that could use them! lol!

 

[Sam Simpson]

I just do a search on google for gay porn mailing lists and just go to town. I must say though, some of those sites are repulsive, and you may have to close your eyes.

I just do it till I get sick of seeing that stuff, which doesn't take long. But I figure just one site probably sells the info to hundreds of other sites, so just a couple of sites will do the job

 

[phoenix827]

thank you!

 

[SDCharger]

I used to have a program that automatically signed you up to all of those lists: gay, wierd fetishes, etc. It was funny to sign friends up to that stuff. I'll have to look for it.

 

[Sam Simpson]

I used to have a program that automatically signed you up to all of those lists: gay, wierd fetishes, etc. It was funny to sign friends up to that stuff. I'll have to look for it.

I had one too, but those types of mailing lists get shut down quite frequently so it becomes useless after a month or so.

 

[willy J]

what about this one? is this legit or BS?





May 16, 2003

Dear Donald,

I am honored to be your President during this time of opportunity and challenge for our country.

Our country has faced many tests and accomplished a great deal. But we still have so much to do to make our world more peaceful and America more compassionate that I intend to seek a second term as your President.

Today, I authorized the creation of a campaign committee to build the grassroots team and collect the resources needed for victory.

Will you let me know if you will be a part of my campaign in Nevada?

And will you help get my campaign off to a strong start by contributing $1,000 or $750 today at www.GeorgeWBush.com/Donate ? The new Federal election law allows donations of up to $2,000 a person or $4,000 a couple.

It will be months before Democrats settle on a candidate, but the election could be close. The strength of our grassroots effort will determine the outcome. I need the help of friends now. My responsibilities as President will require me to focus primarily on our nation's business for most of the next year. I'll depend on friends and supporters like you to get my campaign organized and operating across our country.

Abroad, we have a duty to protect America by working for peace, opportunity and stability. We have no more urgent and important duty than to wage and win the War on Terrorism. We must make use of the moment history has given us to extend liberty to others around the world, because in the long term, freedom and hope are the best weapons against terror. And, we have a unique opportunity to harness American ingenuity and compassion to save tens of thousands of lives by defeating the scourge of AIDS.

At home, our most urgent mission is to strengthen our economy and create jobs. To provide economic security and opportunity to every American, we must improve health care, give senior citizens long-promised prescription drug benefits, provide a quality education for every child, and insist on safe neighborhoods and schools.

My goal is to build an ownership society where American families own their own homes, their own health coverage, their own retirement accounts and, if they want, their own businesses.

And we are working to change the culture from one that too often said, "if it feels good, do it," to a responsibility society where people know they are accountable for what they do, for the children they bring into the world, and for loving a neighbor like they'd like to be loved themselves.

A great country strives for great objectives. The two big goals at the center of my agenda are expanding peace and freedom throughout the world, and helping our country become a more compassionate and prosperous nation where everyone has an opportunity to work and succeed and realize the promise of America.

To achieve these goals, America must be united. I have worked to bring dignity and honor to the White House and to change the tone in Washington. I have asked Democrats and Republicans to join with me in achieving great purposes.

One of the paintings I have selected for the Oval Office portrays a man on horseback, leading a charge up a steep hill. His face is full of purpose and determination, and it is clear he expects to get the job done. The painting is called "A Charge to Keep," based on a Methodist hymn that's a favorite of mine, "A Charge to Keep I Have."

I love the painting because it speaks to serving a cause that is greater than yourself. The picture reminds me every day that my most important job is to unite our country and provide leadership to overcome America's toughest challenges.

America's true strength is in our people and our values. Our country's greatest days are ahead of us, and I know that our nation and our people can achieve anything if we set our minds to the task.

Serving as your President is a privilege and honor. I have worked hard to provide leadership you can be proud of, and I hope you agree with the great goals I have for our country. If I have support, I hope you will help my reelection campaign today.

We can show the world that America is a strong and compassionate nation in which every person is able to achieve his or her dream. Thank you for allowing me to serve as your President. May God Bless America.

Sincerely,





George W. Bush

P.S. Your early support with a contribution would be a strong vote of confidence in my leadership and would help get my campaign off to a good start. Please make a secure online donation to my campaign now at: www.GeorgeWBush.com/Donate

Forward to your friends and family:
Your Name:

Your email address:

Comments for your message:


Email 1:
Email 2:
Email 3:
Email 4:
Email 5:




Click here if you experience problems
submitting the form above.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was this Message Forwarded to you?
If you received this email from a friend and would like to add yourself to our mailing list, Click Here


Unsubscribe
If you no longer wish to receive your mailings at this email address, please Click here to unsubscribe.


Not Sent at Taxpayers' Expense
Paid for by Bush-Cheney '04 Inc.



Contributions to Bush Cheney '04, Inc. are not tax deductible for federal income tax purposes. Funds received in response to this solicitation will be subject to federal contribution limits. An individual contribution limit to Bush-Cheney '04, Inc. is $2000.00. Federal law requires us to obtain and report the name, mailing address, occupation and name of the individuals whose contributions exceed $200 per election cycle. Contributions from corporations and foreign nationals are prohibited.

 

[mid_evil_thymz]

That is actually believe it or not a legitimate campain contributor website seeking money for the re-election of the president incumbent. Funny isn't it how they dont even bother with the calling or showing up in your small town anymore? Ahh the golden age of data transfer via a modem is truly upon us when our politicians send generic letters begging us to help them remain the wealthiest and highest powered people in our Land..
Go Bronco's
rodney Reed

 

[willy J]

i just got this today

Dear in Christ ,
I am Mrs Sally wachira from KENYA. I am married
to Mr Solomon wachira who worked with kenyan embassy in Senegal for nine years before he died in the year 2000. We were married for twenty seven years with a child He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death, we were both born again Christian.

Since his death, I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $7.5Million (seven million five hundred thousand U.S.Dollars) in two metal boxes as family treasure in a security company here in Dakar Senegal. Presently, this money is still in the security company .

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.

I took this decision because of my only child that
will inherit 25% from this money and help to secure a good education & accomodation and also for the sake of God i will like you take him as your child and been a guidiance to him whereby my husband relatives are not Christians and I don t want my husband efforts to be used by unbelievers. I dont want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace . With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the security company in Dakar to contact them on my behalf . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.

Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated
herein.Hoping to receive your reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs wachira
you can reach me with my althernative Email [email protected]

 

[GunPilot]

Here's a new one on me:

"Reference : GOLD OFFER OF 700 kgs

Hello,

It is our pleasure to write you after much
consideration since we can not see you face to face.
Being the only son of my father (LATE Alhaji Sule
Amed)from in the Republic of Cote D Ivoire
Iam 25 years old and my Mother Fatu Amed.

My father was a limited liability Gold
merchant in (C/I)before his death , precisely a week
after his return from burkina Faso where he went to
negotiate for a gold business unfortunately he died as a
result of motor accident Now the gold is in our possion here
in Abidjan.

So I want to give you this business proposal on gold
which i whish will meet your interest , and it is as
follows :

I- CHARACTERISTICS :
Nature : Gold Dust
Quantity : 700kgs
Purity : 95% up to 98%
Carat : 22 PLUS (+)
Origin : Cote D Ivoire
Price FOB : 5200 US Dollars per KILO (to discuss)

II- Condition of Payment

The buyer must come to ,Abidjan Cote d Ivoire to see the
goods and
to discuss with Me and my Mother.
The buyer will take care of the freight , the costom
duty and other expenses when the goods arrive your
destination , you will deduct the money spent before
paiement .

Payment will be make when the goods gets to your
destination after refinery .

I am waiting for your kind reply .

Sincerely

Musa and Mother.



Accédez au courrier électronique de La Poste : www.laposte.net ;
3615 LAPOSTENET (0,34?/mn) ; tél : 08 92 68 13 50 (0,34?/mn)

"

Gold dust, now. I like the "Musa and Mother" touch.

 

[bassspud]

WillyJ I think we all know the one you have is B.S.